Everyone Loves Luke
by Artemis Elric
Summary: When it seems like virtually everyone in the party is madly in love with Luke, who can he turn to? A somewhat sane story revolving around my take on their relationships in the pre-Akzeriuth game. Onesided everyonexLuke, mainly GuyxLuke. R&R!


Everyone Loves Luke

A/N: So. This is my first-ever ToA fanfiction, so be nice. It involves quite a few inside jokes with Mandi and Molly Minamoto, too… I'll explain them briefly. The God-Generals always seem to attack Guy first whenever we fight them, so we decided it's because Guy is gay (tight pants anyone?) and the Generals are homophobes. Also, y'know how Luke would grab his head whenever he got those "headaches", like he was scratching it and couldn't stop? So I decided he is now afflicted with serious head itching. And what else… at some point in the game—before Akzeriuth, obviously—it seemed as through everyone had a crush on Luke, and we agreed that Luke was Master Van's bitch. And Dist is in love with Jade. :3

**IMPORTANT:** This is pre-Akzeriuth, but it hints at a spoiler. It isn't really much of one, actually… you'd really only get it if you knew what the spoiler was. ALSO, this entertains the possibility of **LukexGuy**. When I started writing this, I had thought there wouldn't be any pairings, but it really just ended up that way.

Okay! Enjoy, and please review!

_--_

_Luke…_

"No—!" Luke stumbled and clenched his jaw. "No… not again…."

_Listen to me, Luke…_

"Ow… my head…." Raising his arms, he scratched his head vigorously. "…it itches… so… much…!"

_Luke… Luke…._

"Luke!"

"Shut _up_!" Luke shouted angrily.

"Luke, it's me! Calm down!"

Luke's eyes widened. "M-master Van!"

Van's hands rested on Luke's shoulders reassuringly. "Calm down, Luke. Take a deep breath."

Obediently following Van's instructions, Luke felt the itching cease and the voice fade, leaving him somewhat weak. "Th-thanks, Master Van!" he stammered.

"It was nothing. Now bend over," Van instructed.

"Yes, Master Van."

--

"Um… Tear? Do you know where Luke went?" Guy asked anxiously. Jade was trying to get the party together to decide what to do next, and he'd sent Guy in search of the young ambassador.

Tear glanced up from the old book on fonic artes she was studying. "I'm not sure… the last time I saw him, he was heading down that hallway." She pointed.

"Okay, thanks." Guy hurried off in the direction she'd indicated. _Maybe I'll get another chance to be alone with Luke! That almost never happens anymore…._

--

"Um… Master Van? What are you doing?" Luke inquired nervously.

"Oh… nothing…." Van replied smoothly. He was used to Luke's questions at times like these, and usually shut him up fairly quickly.

"Oh…." Luke fell silent for a moment. "'Cause I was just wondering why you—"

"Consider it part of your training," Van interrupted. _It's a good thing he doesn't remember any of his past… not that _he_ ever could. _

"AHHH!_ Wh… what the hell are you_ doing _to_ my _Luke_!" Guy exclaimed, having just entered the room. "I-I mean… d-did I say _my_ Luke? … I meant _Luke_."

Van stepped swiftly away from the redhead. "Nothing. What did it look like I was doing?"

Guy blinked. _I could've sworn his pants were off a second ago…._

"It was part of my training," Luke spoke up for the first time. He had an idea it was a bit more than _that_, but he and Van had reached an unspoken agreement… namely, that if Luke told anyone, he'd get his limbs ripped off.

Guy's eyes narrowed. "Oh really? I didn't know Van taught Sex Ed."

"I-it was nothing, really," Luke insisted.

Van looked impatient. "Is there anything you wanted, Guy?"

_Luke, of _course_!_ Guy thought automatically.

He hadn't realized he'd spoken aloud until Van raised an eyebrow. "Luke…?"

"Oh… uh… Luke needs to go see Jade," Guy stammered.

Van frowned, but only for a moment; then he regained his usual impassive expression. "Very well. Luke, your head is feeling better now, I trust?"

"Oh… yeah, I'm fine now, Master Van," Luke said, walking over to Guy. "Um… thanks."

"Don't mention it," Van replied pleasantly, and Guy glared at him before he and Luke exited the room.

"Your head hurt?" Guy asked after a few moments of silence. "Did you hear voices again?"

"Yeah… it wasn't too bad this time, though. What does Jade want?"

"He said we need to figure out what we're doing next and that we can't make decisions if our leader's gone missing," Guy told his friend.

"That colonel has some nerve," Luke grumbled, and Guy couldn't help but notice how cute he looked when he was pouting.

--

"So, where are we going next?" Anise asked, looking up at Jade with a puzzled expression.

"Well…" Jade mused, "if we aim for Chesedonia, we can first go to Kimlasca, then stop by Akzeriuth, then go around through the Deo Pass, then pause briefly in Baticul, then return to Malkuth and subsequently find ourselves in Chesedonia…." He paused for breath.

"And that works… how?" Luke broke in, annoyed. "Let's just go straight there."

"But with my route we can get the God-Generals off our trail!" Jade said knowledgably.

"Sorry, but for once I'm going to have to agree with Luke," Tear sighed. The others all nodded.

"Hey… doesn't anyone agree with me?" Jade asked indignantly.

"_Mieuuuu_!"

"Shut up, Thing!"

"Y-yes, Master. _Mieuuuu_…."

"So that's settled!" Natalia declared. "We're going to Chesedonia!"

--

"They're going to Chesedonia," Asch informed the other God-Generals.

"Good, we can head them off and be waiting for them when they arrive!" Largo laughed. "It's perfect."

"Yeah, I know," Asch said proudly.

There was a pause.

"Well, are you done, or are you just going to stand there?" Dist said haughtily.

"Oh, no, I… hey, food! That's good timing, I'm just starting to get—"

"_We're_ eating," Arietta said pointedly. "There's only room for five."

"…huh? Hey, that's not—"

"We're discussing our _pasts_," Sync spoke up. "Sorry."

"But you told me—"

"_Asch_," Dist simpered, "just imagine_ us_ sharing our history with _you_."

"But—"

"If you need something to do, you can always go get more information," Dist added with a tone of finality. "But if you find anything, wait until after lunch to tell us. We're busy eating."

Asch glared at them in frustration—Legretta sipped her tea, returning his look with one of cool disdain—then spun on his heel and left. "Whatever," he muttered. "Jerks."

--

"Why is it always so damn _hot_ here?!" Luke whined, tugging at the collar of his shirt.

"Perhaps it has to do with the fact that Chesedonia is in a _desert_," Jade informed him with a hint of amusement. "You see, Luke, deserts tend to have hot, dry climates; inversely, a—"

"I know _why_ it's hot," Luke snapped. "I'm not stupid."

The rest of the group exchanged skeptical looks.

"Well, complaining certainly doesn't make it any cooler," said Tear.

"Yeah, you're not helping at all, Luke!" Natalia admonished.

"Can we just find an inn already?" Guy spoke up. "The sun will set before too long, and then Luke will be complaining that it's too _cold_."

Seeing the logic behind Guy's statement, they next sought out an inn. It took them quite a while to find one, due to the confusing layout of the city, but they succeeded in the end… only to learn that there were only four rooms available.

"B-but there are seven of us!" Luke exclaimed in dismay.

"Eight if you count Mieu," Tear pointed out.

"_Things_ don't count," Luke muttered bitterly; luckily, no one heard him except Mieu, who only _mieuuuued_ sadly.

"Well, we'll just have to share," Jade stated matter-of-factly.

"Sh-_share_?" Luke stammered, then broke off and looked down. Anise had her arms wrapped around his waist. "Hey, get off me!"

"I wanna be with Luke! "

"N-no! Get off!" He tried, unsuccessfully, to push her away.

"Why _not_?" she pouted. "Do you want to be with _Tear_?"

Luke blinked. "No, of course not!"

"What do you mean, _'of course not'_?" Tear asked icily.

"_She_ doesn't like you, Luke," Anise interrupted. "Not as much as _I _do. "

"I think that's a good thing," Luke muttered. "Come _on_, get off me! Tear, you can share with Natalia."

"_Luke_!" Natalia exclaimed, affronted. "I'm your fiancée! If you should room with anyone, it should be—"

"I agree with Luke," Jade said swiftly. "Tear and Natalia…."

"Anise, you stay with, I dunno, Guy," Luke added.

"_Luke_!" Guy hissed nervously. "You know I—"

"Yeah, yeah. Sorry," Luke amended hastily.

Jade sighed. "I guess I have no choice. I'll share a room with Anise…."

"NO!" the others all shouted at once.

Jade appeared somewhat taken aback. "Oh… I was just trying to be helpful."

"Sure you were," Luke said under his breath. "Pedophile."

Anise frowned. "Well… I guess I can stay with Ion, then."

Ion, who had remained silent until now, blinked. "Oh… well, actually… I was wondering if _I _could stay with Luke…."

Luke sweatdropped. "B-but…."

"Please?"

Struggling to keep from blushing— _how does Ion keep making me _do_ that?_— Luke tried to think logically. "U-um… sorry, Ion, but someone needs to stay with Anise, and it can't be Jade or Guy… and it sure isn't gonna be _me_."

"And we trust that you won't _do_ anything," Natalia added.

"Um… o-okay."

"And that leaves me with Guy!" Luke concluded.

Guy exhaled the breath he'd been holding and beamed. _Yes!_

"What about me, Master?"

"And Thing can stay with Jade."

"_Mieuuuu_…."

--

"I miss Master Van."

Guy blinked. "What?"

Luke had just taken his shirt off, and Guy had been trying hard not to be caught staring. But then Luke had to go and mention _him_.

Luke sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Well… he's the only one who always understands me… the only person I can really talk to."

"Hey!" Guy strode over to him and put an arm around Luke's shoulders (an act that screamed _HOMO_ to anyone not incredibly oblivious… meaning anyone but Luke). "What about me? I've been your best friend for five years! Tell me what's wrong, I'll listen."

"Well… nothing really," Luke said slowly. Guy tried to focus on what he was saying instead of his smooth, solid muscles and soft red hair that fell in waves down his—_no! Listen to Luke! _"… and it only seems like Jade is taking control because I don't know what to do! And it feels like I should!" Luke was frowning now, and Guy desperately wanted to see him smile.

"That sounds tough," Guy said sympathetically. "But we're all your friends here. You can ask any one of us for help." _Especially me._ "You shouldn't have to depend only on 'Master Van' for advice."

Finally, Luke smiled, and Guy felt a shiver run down his spine… his scalp felt all weird and tingly for some reason, too. "Thanks, Guy," Luke said seriously. "I mean it."

"Aw, don't mention it." The tingling sensation was beginning to get worse… _maybe somehow my pants are cutting off circulation to my brain? That's never happened before._ "I'm kinda tired, let's get some rest."

"Okay, "Luke grinned and got to his feet. Oddly enough, though, Guy's head was beginning to distract him from his silent chant of _Strip! Strip! Strip!_, and Guy remained seated.

Then his head began to itch.

Luke turned to see Guy scratching his head with a fierce intensity that he recognized at once. "_Guy_!"

_Guy… you know who I am…_

Guy drew in a sharp breath. "You… you're—"

_You know who I really am. _What_ I really am. Don't deny it._

"I-I'm not deny—"

_Shut _up_!_

"Guy—!" Luke cried anxiously, only to stumble back as Guy lashed out with one arm.

_Wh-what? I don't have any control over my body…!_ "I-it's not me, Luke," Guy stammered. "I'm not—"

_Oh yes it is! Stop trying to resist me! Hurt him! _

"I _won't_!" Guy shouted. "He's my friend!"

A pause, then sudden laughter. _Is that all he is to you? Then maybe you should give in to what you _really_ want!_

Unable to stop himself, Guy rose and pressed Luke against a wall.

"Guy! Get control!" Luke ordered. "Calm down—"

"I c-can't—" Guy said through gritted teeth; the itching was unbearable and not helping him concentrate at all. "I-I'm sorry—!"

An instant later, Guy leaned forward and kissed Luke with a surprising amount of passion.

--

"What are you doing, Jade?" Mieu piped up.

"Oh, nothing. Go to sleep, Mieu. It's been a long day."

"Yes, Jade! _Mieuuuu_!"

Jade turned another page in Dist's diary.

_I saw Jade again today… He's so cute when he's angry. How I long for the day I can claim him as my own! Those long auburn locks and beautiful eyes… I have the perfect moment in mind. We'll be fighting passionately over something, as always; then, in the same instant, we will realize our burning love for each other. Then and there we'll rip off each other's clothes and fall upon the bed, where—_

Jade shut the diary. There were some things even _he_ didn't mind not knowing.

For a moment he considered thinking about what he'd just read, then decided not to. It was too weird. He'd think about it tomorrow. For now, he'd better get some sleep….

"Jade the Necromancer!"

_Oh, no._

"Jade, Jade! It's the God-Generals! _Mieuuuu_!"

"I know, Mieu," Jade said calmly, and turned around.

Dist loomed in the doorway… or rather, behind it. His floating chair didn't quite fit through the doorframe. Muffled voices could be heard behind it.

"Dist! _Move_!"

"I _told_ you we should've gone in first!"

Dist the Rose irritably waved them into silence. He didn't feel like explaining that he'd hoped to catch Jade undressing.

"Well, well," Jade said coolly. "If it isn't Dist the Runny."

Gay butterflies filled Dist's stomach as his name left Jade's lips. Outwardly, though, he scowled. "It's Dist the _Rose_! And I believe you have something of mine?" Saying this, the worries he'd had earlier that day came rushing back. _If he read it…._

Jade held up the diary. "You mean this?"

Dist clenched one hand into a fist. "Yes." _But I need to get the rest of these idiots to leave us alone! _Turning in his chair, he hissed, "Go find Luke!" The God-Generals promptly hurried off, leaving the two of them alone (along with Mieu, cowering under the bed).

For a moment, they looked at each other in silence. Then Dist stepped out of his chair. _I have to know._ "Did you read it?"

Further silence ensued as Jade wondered how to answer. _Well, I don't think he'll kill me… now all I need to worry about is being raped._

--

The God-Generals stormed through the hall of the inn, barging into the rooms of Tear and Natalia and Anise and Ion. Once the party learned that they were after Luke, they fought to beat them to the final room at the end of the corridor.

The door burst open and they all rushed in.

Then they stopped and stared.

A moment later, Guy succeeded in pulling himself away from Luke (even though he knew he was being controlled, he had to wrestle with the decision) and stared back with growing horror.

The same look was mirrored on the faces of his friends, though it quickly turned to loathing.

The God-Generals exchanged glances, and then raised their weapons. "HE'S GAY!" they roared. "GET HIM!"

And they charged.

Knowing he couldn't fight them all, Guy did the only things he could… shut his eyes and shield Luke.

"Hang on, guys," came a familiar voice, and Guy realized suddenly that his head had stopped itching. "I was controlling him, it's not his fault. Remember, Luke's the only one we came for." Sync entered the room casually, and watched as the other God-Generals hesitated.

Guy breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

"But he _is_ in the way," Sync added.

Largo grinned and swung his scythe. Guy fumbled for his sword, knowing he was too late.

The clang of metal-on-metal resounded through the room.

Luke stood in front of Guy, his own sword out and blocking Largo's.

"L-Luke!" Guy stammered, drawing his sword.

Luke's arms trembled with the exertion of holding back Largo. "Guy!" he shouted. "Move!"

Guy moved, and Luke slid his sword away and dived to the side as Largo's weapon buried itself in the wall.

A long and intense battle ensued, involving the use of all but one Life Bottle, several returns to the last save spot, and the alarmed innkeeper being knocked down the stairs twice.

Eventually, though, the God-Generals were defeated, and the others realized that someone was missing.

"The colonel!" Tear exclaimed, and they raced to Jade's room and threw open the door.

They found Jade and Dist engaged in a fierce battle of fonic artes.

"You love me!" Dist cried desperately, sending more magic at the colonel. "You do! You just haven't realized it yet!"

"No I _don't_!" Jade shot back through gritted teeth. "I _told_ you—"

"You _have_ to love me!" Dist roared, knocking aside Jade's defenses, leaving him helpless. "Because _I_—" He used his artes to hurtle Jade against the wall and pin him there. "—_love_—" He stepped forward, and meeting Dist's crazed eyes, Jade felt a flicker of fear. "—_YOU_!"

A loud thump came from behind them; it was the sound of Largo's jaw hitting the floor. The God-Generals stood in the doorway: Asch looked like he'd been hit over the head with Anise's Tokunaga; Legretta gaped at them in a state of total shock; Sync was pinching himself, at a loss as to why he wasn't waking up; and Arietta was glaring at Dist like _he_ was the one who'd killed her mommy.

Dist blinked at them.

Then the God-Generals recovered.

"HE'S GAY! GET HIM!"

Luke, Guy, Tear, Natalia, Anise, and Ion dived out of the way as a shrieking Dist fled from the enraged mob. Jade hit the floor as they raced out of the room.

Nobody spoke. Then Mieu crawled out from under the bed. "Are you okay, Jade?"

Luke snatched him and held him up by the Sorcerer's Ring around his waist. "_Why didn't you help_?!"

"I'm sorry, master," Mieu whimpered pitifully. "I'm so useless… _mieuuuu_…."

"H-hey!" Guy backed into the wall. The women—and Ion—had all taken a step toward him. "Wh-what is it?"

"_You kissed Luke_," Natalia hissed angrily.

"Eh?" Guy stammered. "I-I couldn't help it, I was being controlled—"

"Well, you could have tried _harder_!" Tear accused.

"Luke is _mine_!" Anise added, looking eerily like Arietta.

Ion remained silent, glaring at Guy (although his glare really wasn't all that intimidating).

"I-I… hey, stay back! Hey! No, don't come any—AAAAAAAGH!"

Luke sighed and helped Jade to his feet. "Good thing we've still got one Life Bottle," he muttered. "I get the feeling we're gonna need it."

--

The _Five_ God-Generals had—at least temporarily—given up their pursuit of Luke and his friends, deciding to rid the world of homosexuals instead. Although they could have gotten two birds with one stone if they'd killed Guy and Ion.

And as for Luke…

They'd stopped to rest in a field a week later, and it was Luke's turn to keep watch. He stared out across the dark hills without really thinking of anything.

"… Luke?"

He turned to see Guy standing nearby, looking nervous.

"Oh, hey, Guy. Couldn't sleep again?" Guy's fear of women had been bad before, but now it gave him nightmares.

"Yeah." Guy hesitantly walked over and seated himself beside Luke.

They sat in silence for a while, and then Luke heard Anise mumble, "Hey… I saw you with Luke again, Guy… get back here… I'm gonna.…" He quickly searched for something to say, but Guy beat him to it.

"Luke… um… I'm sorry—"

"It's okay," Luke broke in, "I understand that you couldn't really talk to me or anything, not with the others around. Jeez, if they'd fight the God-Generals half as fiercely as they attack you, we'd win easily every time!" He chuckled, but Guy wasn't smiling.

"No, that's… not what I meant. I'm sorry for when I, um… k-kissed you." Guy was glad that the darkness hid his blush, but was afraid that Luke could somehow hear the pounding of his heart.

There was a pause, then Luke said lightly, "Don't worry about it. As you said, Sync was controlling you."

Guy shifted nervously. "Well… h-he was, but…." He took a deep breath. "I think the idea came from me."

This time the pause was longer. Luke didn't know what to say.

"I-I'm sorry," Guy repeated anxiously, still not meeting Luke's gaze. "I… I hope we can still be friends…."

"Of course!" Luke exclaimed, putting a hand on Guy's shoulder. "We'll always be friends, no matter what! And…" here, Luke hesitated, "maybe someday… when this is over…."

Luke's tone made Guy raise his eyes to Luke's, and what he saw in them made his heart skip a beat. "Luke…?"

"_Maybe_," Luke repeated quietly. "Someday… maybe."

Guy smiled. He didn't mind waiting a little longer. "Okay."

A few feet away, Jade grinned to himself, then surveyed his still-sleeping companions. _I wonder which one of them I should tell first…._

FIN

A/N: I hope you liked it! No offense meant to gays, of course, I love each and every one of you. Please review!


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